ramblings of the dazed.

rummaaage

2010-04-03T10:03:00.000+01:00

so yesterday me and my friends florence and eve went to brick lane for the american apparel rummage sale and you could say it got wild police were swearing in my face for simply standing on a pavement shouting in my ears with megaphones and causing unnecessary riots. On the news it says 10 police were arrested which is a lie there was only about 4 police there!

take a sad song and make it better.

2010-03-24T16:46:00.000Z

dailybooth has become my new obessesion as well as big wardrobe although i haven't found anything i want yet i've had a couple of offers for theses two dresses that have never been worn i bought recently.

Daily booth is like my life in photos its so addictive:

http://dailybooth.com/hennerrss

One of my many stupid photos:

so you better run.

2010-03-20T15:14:00.000Z

i haven't blogged in forever sorry i've been so stressed about everything i promise i'll do a big blog tomorrow i'm just swamped by school work sorry followers :)

you're a space cadet dressed in fibreglass.

2010-03-06T14:50:00.000Z

so yesterday i had a presentation evening at my swimming club which was a bit awkward as usual as it's a bit to cliquey for me. I wore my new lace top from urban outfitters and a skirt and i still felt underdressed i do hate the fact they all act like such posh snobs some time.

any way i was quite surprised as i found out i won the Jack Petchey Award which is like an award given monthly for outstanding achievement by a charity to help clubs and schools and i was given a £200 cheque to spent on my club. Aswell as this I got trophies for winning the IM, being second overall and also a metal plate for being junior club captain.

gets louders and louder.

2010-02-28T19:30:00.000Z

so yesterday was my friend's birthday and we went to quasar ( it's kind of like a laser shooting game if you didn't know), and i was terrible i lost against seven year olds as we had no clue what to do in the first game. Yet we had better luck in the second game and we kind of just took over their base and set of this weird alarm thing the whole time i still don't really understand the game much.

yes i am the one lying on the floor.

Then we went back to my friend's house and just mucked about we had a treasure hunt to find gold coins and it turned into who could be the most violent. I don't know if any of you realised but last night was basically a full moon and sitting on a trampoline talking about the mighty boosh has a weird effect on your mind especially if your an egg and you seem to flying all over the trampoline.

slaps for alex.

you see this pinata i hit it so hard the bat broke.

She's the symbol of resistance

2010-02-26T17:25:00.000Z

ah i hate my school wait am i allowed to say that?
seeing as they now stalk my facebook and we get told of for joining groups against the p.e staff as apparently it will cause us never to go to university and it's a priviledge to be able to sit down and be bored all lesson isntead of exercise. Does that even make sense? I probably shouldn't be writing this but fuck them!

all they say is nananana.

2010-02-23T18:38:00.001Z

stress stress stress pretty sums up my mood
i would personally like to kill whoever came up with coursework modules essays and everything else it leaves me no time to relax after i've done my 14 hours of sport a week let alone by my best friend's birthday present, or revise for other exams. I guess it's back to internet shopping for me.

so far urban outfitters sale and free delivery has been a lifesaver i have bought her.

these earrings for £4.00

violet rose necklace for £6.00

and i just bought top for £9.99 for myself

burn baby burn.

2010-02-20T18:54:00.001Z

i so want a polaroid camera but i don't have a clue which ones are good or not

has anyone got any reccomendations?

procrastination running circles through my head.

2010-02-20T13:59:00.000Z

i so would love to meet:

russel brand ♥

Mary-kate and Ashley Olsen.

katy perry.

luke pasqualino

alexa chung

i would actually sacrifice a lot to meet these people

and i think i would have a heart attack if i got to meet

florence welch ♥

when your fifteen..

2010-02-19T17:48:00.000Z

ah im so happy i finished my whole wall basically its covered head to toe in memories i'm just wondering wether i should continue onto the next wall?

i'm going out for a family meal tonight and am finally going to wear my new blue bodycon skirt from h&m.

I’ll leave when the wind blows.

2010-02-19T10:32:00.000Z

i really wish i could believe everything you say yet it does not make any sense all the things i try to piece together and understand a simple sentence turns into a detailed explanation and i hate my self for all these doubts that hang over me.

2010-02-18T16:45:00.000Z

is it strange i like to answer questions? if you have any formspring me:

http://www.formspring.me/wandering

Maybe it's a fall from grace.

2010-02-18T11:03:00.002Z

so i didn't get my ears pierced in the end as i didn't have ID to prove i was 16 when i'm only 14 so that was a bit of a fail. Me and my friend hobbled around London due to the fact that our doc martens were hurting like hell.

and bought some bracelets from a hippie shop in camden due to this they stink of weed.

i love my bestfriend.

i know you think i'm crazy.

2010-02-16T18:40:00.001Z

It is actually ridiculous the fact that I need a whole new wardrobe none of my clothes fit any more and I'm left with about 6 outfits, internet shopping hasn't been very successful so far but i will keep looking. However I did get a new jumper (above) from primark and i love it.

you wanted kissing in the rain.

2010-02-15T15:02:00.000Z

I went to the cinema to see Valentines Day with my best friend and went to nando's. If you haven't been there you have not lived it's amazing. Then we just mucked around at my house and being the bitches we are ripped up photos of people we disliked that were on my wall, as small as we could. It seemed to get rid of a lot of built up anger i guess.

On wednesday I'm finally going to get my ears pierced after waiting for ages. Does it hurt that much?

Was this what was always missing?

2010-02-13T15:22:00.004Z

it's finally half term and teachers decide to make us revise the whole time for mocks and modules and coursework so much for fun. Tomorrow is valentines day and i'm going out with a friend and boycotting the idea i don't really see much point in the whole day to be honest, so were going to watch valentines day and have a good old shopping trip. I'm so stupidly excited for pancake day to as its my dad's birthday as-well so this means even more junk food for me to pig out on how healthy.

no make up
no styled hair
and yes i do have man shoulders i hate them.
this is how i look and what i wore to my nan's birthday meal.

What are you guys doing this halfterm?

blame it on the girls.

2010-02-05T17:15:00.000Z

what i'm wearing out for a meal with friends tonight. my weekend looks like its going to be pretty good if all goes to plan. Curry sleepover and then shopping in london or might just starbucks it

someone must know.

2010-02-02T19:55:00.000Z

have you ever felt something an emotion you shouldn't of?

i want to believe i did and that i've moved on yet i can't i'm stuck in this never ending day constantly repeating with words and photos spinning around.

louder and louder.

2010-01-31T17:45:00.000Z

today i have DofE training and also got my hair cut and finally got rid of ridiculous comb over fringe after two years and got a full fringe instead i'm not sure of it yet

what do you think?

cover my tracks.

2010-01-29T17:11:00.000Z

i just realised all the time i have been blogging i have never really introduced my self so here goes...

i'm henrietta 14 years old residing in a small town near london i hate it. My opinions probably won't match yours at all. I do far to much sport it seems to take up my life. When writing or reading no one can disturb me. I fail under pressure and probably should try more. Fashion doesn't really interest me call me emo call me goth i've given up caring. Many things I say should be ignored to avoids offence. Also the fact all my friends have found blogger and follow me is so so annoying as i can't always say what i want.

So there you go the true me.

See, I don't know anymore;

2010-01-27T16:16:00.000Z

is it fair we are allowed to take things for granted?

how am i supposed to feel content when others are struggling with life?

i feel like i am one of the only who struggle to balance everything i have no spare time my weekend is going to consist of a school swimming gala duke of edinburgh and more swimming where has my social life actually disappeared to?

it ends tonight.

2010-01-26T20:13:00.002Z

'when you die how would you like to?'

i got asked this today and it made me think at first obviously it would be in my sleep, yet why would i want to be so boring, isn't the point of our existences to go against everything we believe. That may just be how I live, in my own world don't expect me to be listening to a word your saying i find my day dreams far more interesting and they cause me no pain, i am afraid of what this harsh reality i avoid may hold and i seem to be holding myself back because of it. How it may shatter all that we live off the hopes that will never come true. People like me dwell on the past and how we could of changed it, afraid our next step may lead to total disaster the fact that you can't hide in your thoughts forever.

lost in a silent ballet.

2010-01-26T17:34:00.003Z

perhaps if the media didn't pressure how we thought teenagers would be different my year is pretty much appalling yet i can't explain why maybe we dont have enough self respect, all i know is i'm falling deeper and deeper into the trap they've laid why do i want to feel like everyone else when in fact we are all individuals.

drag me back.

2010-01-23T16:49:00.000Z

One minute when i want to curl up and die the rain falls showering our little town. I have a sudden urge to run in it, re-enact a certain childhood dream taken from me by our self-obsessed culture. Then with a few hours, the clouds open and sunshine streams out, glimmering and radiating brightening up the mood of everyone, and maybe a even a rainbow forms, before it fades away.

and i haven't slept in two days.

2010-01-22T20:53:00.000Z

i love you guys ♥ :)

My friends meal in nandos was pretty eventful from being tooted out by every driver whilst waiting for the bus to taking photos of random things and just going hyper.

take off your colours.

2010-01-19T16:39:00.000Z

well it's my friend's birthday soon and she's going to nando's for a meal to celebrate

the only issue is i have no clue what to wear.

i have three possible outfits currently.

comment which one you prefer it'd help me make up my mind.

why?

2010-01-17T19:48:00.002Z

i just want to cry and cry and cry,

and the worse bit is i'm not allowed to tell anyone :'(

that your poor old granddad had to sweat to buy you.

2010-01-16T10:29:00.001Z

'The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.'

This quote made me smile as my granddad is the one member of my family i could never hate, i can still remember the times when he took me to the park as a small child, how he used to hate taking me on the train in case i fell on the gap. I am still this child in his heart and hope I always am, recently I didn't see him for a week and it was heart wrenching i was so used to the normal routine of coming home to find his at the door waiting yet he was at home, it was one of the small things we take for granted.

i love you gangan ♥

it's been like this now for days,

2010-01-13T17:09:00.000Z

today was pretty much a shit day thanks to my school doing what it called it's best interests my making us go in, even though the teachers didn't? however my mum did order my new boots, i've finally decided what colour i want and i'm just waiting for them to arrive when it stops snowing i need to seriously go shopping i have bought a load of new skirts but need to buy some nice tops to go with them but none of the buses seem to be running at the moment.

the boots ♥

i was the forgotten child.

2010-01-11T18:06:00.003Z

i had a speaking workshop at school today and at first i was like oh god i can't speak i have this tendency to use filler words such as like almost 50 times every sentence. Yet when I came up with a topic and wrote a script it was fine. The main scary part was standing up to the 30 people listening and delivering it my body was shaking and I could barely speak yet I managed somehow.

I remember the first time i met him, he told me everything would be ok, he would try and make it right again after all he was my doctor why would he lie, so why was i still waking up in the night screaming and why was i only skin and bones?

my speech introduction

I also have almost finished sticking millions of photos and memories on my wall like a huge collage I guess, the wall is almost full I just need some more photos and to buy some more magazines.

I belong to the hurricane

2010-01-10T11:32:00.000Z

i am the kind of girl who needs to be heard, i am lazy and withdrawn. most of the time i want to get away from everything and curl into a ball. I have an inability to gain weight a thing that drives me crazy, and i'm fed up of the saggy skin that covers my bones. I guess i pretend everything is ok, when in fact it's getting worse I over-exaggerate things in my mind and worry about the most stupid things. I do wonder some days if i'm going slowly insane pretending i'm someone i can never be. Maybe i chose the wrong decisions, it might just be my ADHD returning i really hope not it was one thing i could not control, it takes over my life, impairs my decisions i was only a small child then yet the doctors lied to me, they told me i was fine when the stuck needles in me and wires on my skin. Since then i trust no one i am paranoid about the smallest things. I secretly hate myself and i just want to stop.

early daays

2010-01-07T15:27:00.000Z

school shut early again today as it would of been dangerous to walk home in the dark through snow and ice, i might just not bother going in tomorrow. i was happy to it meant i could finally do this essay which i probably should start now instead of typing about my day so bye.

broken soles

2010-01-06T16:50:00.000Z

i'm not in a good mood, those new boots i was saying i had, well i've worn them like maybe 3/4 times and all the leathers like come off so i have random bits that aren't shiny so i'm hopefully exchanging them for a real pair as they're only like 20 pounds more i'm told. Also it snowed in the night but oh no miss sage could get in to school so we all had to then she sends us home early, anyone see the point in this madness? It's snowing quite heavily at the moment and i'm hoping it stays otherwise i'm screwed for this essay i need to complete.

snow snow snow snow

2010-01-05T17:06:00.000Z

i probably should be writing my essay now but i really can't be bothered, we might not have school tomorrow if it snows please please snow it's the only thing i really want to happen, my week slowly worsens from here and i want a longer weekend to relax please?

get me out of here.

2010-01-04T17:38:00.000Z

get me out of this shithole now!
this is not a school i attend it's a military camp
what with no make up and strict uniform
i never realised how much i could miss my bed
or later nights and waking up in the afternoon
please could we have another month off?
i'm not ready for all these hideous lessons yet.

There's vultures and thieves at your back

2010-01-03T11:02:00.000Z

Yesterday was a pretty good day. Me and my friend vicky went up to london and just travelled around, first stop was abercrombie, to meet the lovely fit model and get a photo, god i love the smell of that shop.

sorry it's blurry i took it in a rush

Then onto another tube this time to west field to have a quick look in hollister, what we didn't expect was like an hour and a half queue to get in. Instead i went and bought hair dye i'm still not sure wether to go for it or not, and had lunch in nandos which pretty much filled me up for the whole day. One thing that ruined the day was all the tube disruptions, and the fact i couldn't find a lace body to go with my skirt, but we did meet a fittie on the train home ;)

2010-01-01T17:34:00.004Z

this song takes me back to memories long forgotten i told myself to forget.
They did me no good, and the sudden rush of them through my brain, overwhelmed me and i felt a pain that was indescribable longing for you.

happy new year

2010-01-01T11:42:00.000Z

My new years resolutions i won't stick to them but i feel the need to try, you could say 2009 was a shit year for me and i don't want it to be the same this year. I need to start eating healthily unlike my usual ice cream for breakfast super noodles for lunch chocolate for dinner.

here are some more sale bargains i got:

half price shiny doc martens £50

new high waisted skirt from urban outfitters

the top speaks for itself urban outfitters

I'm off to try and finish this game off monopoly with my family that has spilled over from christmas and we have spent many hours playing with only one player out. Then tomorrow i'm hopefully going up to london with a friend.

new year new hair

2009-12-29T20:17:00.000Z

i finally dyed my hair a brighter red and will go and get the permanent dye later on this week.

2009-12-29T10:11:00.000Z

i hope you had a lovely christmas i got pretty much everything i asked for a new sofa to go in my room from ikea, DVD's, a new black cardigan and money.

my sofa

some bits and bobs

Then yesterday i hit the sales in h&m where i got a scarf reduced to £1 a cable knit jumper and some acid washed jeggings.

my new buys.

Happy Christmas ♥

2009-12-24T12:22:00.000Z

Happy Christmas

I'm off to finish wrapping up presents, and to greet my family coming over. Then i'm off to my cousins for the day even if they do annoy me like hell. I hope you all get what you want and have a lovely day.

♥

I mean what can I say

2009-12-22T19:53:00.000Z

i feel so vain i have sat at home taking photos of myself to pass the time so i though i might as upload them they are in black and white because colour does not suit me.

i like you!

don't make me chase you.

okay maybe one colour one, why my hair looks bright red i'm not sure

it's normally some copper thing.

christmas time ♥

2009-12-22T16:47:00.000Z

well i'm bored ¬¬

i've been shopping every day since i've broken up

spent all my money on frappuchinos and meal deals from boots

got cold and snowy from walking around aimlessly

hopefully tomorrow will be better

i'm going up to london probably around camden with some friends

i plan to buy a travel card and jump on whatever bus train i see until i have to leave

i love the joys of being a child some times.

go away snow

2009-12-21T20:00:00.000Z

i actually hate this stupid stupid snow some times

i was stranded at a friend's waiting for a bus to arrive for half an hour and then decided to trek home which took an hour and a half by the time i got home i looked like a snowman and couldn't feel my feet. i mean don't get me wrong i love playing in it and getting days of school but when it stops me getting places well then it annoys me like hell.

dont melt away

2009-12-19T15:44:00.001Z

i woke up to find this lovely snow had settled on my garden and logged on to the school website to see if they had given us the day off, well they hadn't. So i trudged all the way slipping over way to many times, to find out we would be finishing again at half 10, my one lesson consisted of watching elf and eating chocolate, then off i went home again, what a waste of a morning. Afterwards though i went to my friend Vicky's house with Lillie and we watched Wild child for a bit and ate a load of junk food. Then it was time to trek into bromley for a bit and get a caramel frappuchino how yummy, and do a bit of last minute shopping so all in all it was an ok day ♥

let it snow let it snow

2009-12-16T17:59:00.000Z

well it snowed today and it has kind of settled, this has put me into such a christmasy mood, i also made a chocolate yule log in food tech which i promised my friend Florence (http://hauteiscouture.blogspot.com/) she could have some more as after all it is christmas. My presents are all wrapped and ready to give out. The decorations are all hanging up and i can feel christmas getting closer. As I write this i have about 25 different layers on an i'm still frozen with Elf on repeat in the background it is my favourite christmasy film ever.

a festive yule log

Happy Christmas ♥

Let me go

2009-12-08T19:37:00.000Z

Get me out of this country

i want to be a free-lance writer

my dream is to be the girl to who lives in the tent in the middle of nowhere surrounded by the people i love, i couldn't care less about money, as soon as i've finished all my studies i'm gone.

It's not a rush decision its a fact.

Canada or Australasia not sure which yet, but i'm going, living a life out of this quiet suburb with nothing quite wrong or right about it. It's to perfect for me. I need change.

I crave moment and instability ♥

time for a new beginning

2009-12-05T20:08:00.000Z

i need a fresh start?

in the words of rianna safia beaton, 'be a happy emp henrie'

it's harder said than done my life seems to falling apart under my feet

i want to crawl into a hole and die some days

i have this bubble around me, it makes me feel invincible

i just hope it doesn't burst any time soon

i swear i am going mad

i talk to myself

i panic over nothing

Aur Revoir

2009-12-01T17:58:00.000Z

Well it's been two years, and frankly I miss you quite a lot? You've always been there for me even though you did break occasionally. So it feels so odd to not have you. Am i that sad that i miss my braces? The metal thats has inhabited my mouth and inflicted pain upon me, yet i miss it.

Anyway it's the first of december, time for a fresh start. Out with the old and in with the new. I promise, no more silly childish henrie, I will look forward and try to see the good side of things. I need to achieve my hopes and dreams. I will pass duke of Edinburgh and I will visit Vietnam for World Challenge. I need to pass my GCSE's, try to complete a-level english, decide a degree to study at university. Oh and carry on swimming 6 times a week. Why is my life so stressful?

Plane Jane

2009-12-01T05:00:00.000Z

I'm just your average girl, the girl whose never happy with her body, i hate my legs. I can't stand the sight of them. I comfort eat, to ease the pain of nothing? I am the girl with the hair thats always a mess, that is never straight. The tangled lions mane. I know I'm not perfect, but why should I complain, least I'm alive I have the most amazing friends and thats all I could really wish for.

Henrietta Anne Shorter

walking in a winter wonderland

2009-11-28T08:43:00.000Z

winter ♥

i love the crunchy leaves and the fact you can see yourself breathing out, i love the cold mornings, and times spent in starbucks warming up. I love the exchanging of christmas presents, and how i meet relatives i don't see often, christmas dinner is something i wait all year for. I live for the sales, up on boxing day and i'm gone armed with my christmas money. My december is pretty jammed pack though, maths mocks sleepovers swimming competitions injections christmas shopping and coursework. I do wonder some times how I manage do everything.

a simple message

2009-11-01T13:56:00.000Z

I clutched my phone and stared, my mood had been shattered, I prayed that this news simply couldn't be true, and that I had misunderstood. Then you confirmed by worst fears and my feet seemed to buckle under me, they couldn't bear the burden on my heart, and gave up. I wish i had given up trying a long time ago, it hasn't got me any further that I am now. I still stuck in the same vicious circle, with thoughts attacking me from every direction. You seem as if you simply couldn't care about what your actions do to me, how I can feel myself being ripped apart, every time you take a step further away.

Take a deep breath, tuck the water in my chest

2009-10-31T16:06:00.000Z

Spending a week in cyprus doing 4 hours of swimming in a 50m swimming pool, and then another 2 hours of running and stretching for a week doesn't sound exactly enticing does it? But I loved it, I grew closer to people, you could say i had drifted from, I forged new friendships with some of the most hilarious people ever. I stayed up all night with my best friends gossiping and painting our nails, laughing at the xfactor. I saw my first ever hurricane, over the horizon of coral bay. It will one of the most amazing weeks of my life, and I wish it never ended. The prank calling the crushing of biscuits, the hiding behind curtains, the laughs. the romances, the gossiping, the sunbathing, the bingeing on food. It truly was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

The first thing I saw every morning ♥

Thunder lightning tornado hail..

Ignore me

2009-10-21T16:19:00.000+01:00

I ask people to ignore me most days, as I know I speak a load of shit, it's highly opinionated and often wrong, so please don't listen to me. No one else seems to thank-you :)

Help me.

2009-10-12T20:36:00.000+01:00

I hate you. Deep down anger. Raw emotion, straight from the soul. You are not the person I thought you are. You crave attention and use people. You chew people up and spit them out, when you get bored. You are the worst best-friend ever. The nightmare that simply won't go away. I live in fear of your remarks, as they are the ones that deal the hardest blows, as i know you tell the truth, but i simply can't let go of our friendship. Attention seeking some may call it, i just think your a sad little girl who needs to grow up and witness the real world. Not EVERYONE loves you, not everyone loves you. If i was to tell you the truth, I think you would find that it fact it is completely the opposite and I hope to god when you realize you feel humiliated, and have no one to turn to. I really really hope you fail in life, as you make me sick to the core how you act, you spoilt little pompous princess. I say all this, but tomorrow I will go back to loving you, as i can't imagine life without you, and thats what scares me the most.

i want to forget you so badly

2009-10-12T16:48:00.000+01:00

i wish i could float back in time, before the leaves began to fall, when the sun still shone, when we were as happy as could be, and i would halt time, the never ending summer with you, yet it wasn't to be we broke like a fragile flower, delicate yet messy at the same time, i simply miss the way you made me feel on top of the world. I wasn't prepared to come crashing back down. You have stolen part of my heart and I doubt I will ever get it back, it was lost when I got that simple message that has changed how i think for a long time. ♥

Woah

2009-08-16T20:17:00.000+01:00

I've realised everything I've wanted has been right there

Infront of me, i just didn't notice

You could say i was self absorbed

I just think I was trying so hard to find it, that I forgot to look close to me.

I love you

it became to simple

2009-08-11T20:06:00.000+01:00

It was easier than I thought, all I need to do is speak up

Be heard more often.

Become more confident

Believe in myself

I still have some way to go I guess.

speak up child

2009-08-11T11:48:00.000+01:00

I've begun to realize how awkward things are becoming, partly due to my lack of communication. I need to start telling people, that they concern me, and how i am seriously worried for them. Yet I simply can't as I fear i might make the situation worse and offend them. Perhaps I just worry to much, I wonder...

change can happen can't it?

2009-08-10T17:54:00.000+01:00

Sometimes I wish my mind could stop thinking, the constant thinking and analyzing, is driving me insane, I can't sleep properly, as all the thoughts flow through my mind.

'What if i did this, and didn't do that?'

So i have decided on this early summery morning, to start afresh put everything behind me I dislike, I worry about, even something I may just be unsure of. Instead I will think positive and see that I could learn from my mistakes, maybe even change?

Just another storm in a teacup

2009-08-09T20:22:00.000+01:00

The english summer, it rises and falls with my mood? One minute when i want to curl up and die the rain falls showering our little town. I have a sudden urge to run in it, re-enact a certain childhood dream taken from me by our self-obsessed culture. Then with a few hours, the clouds open and sunshine streams out, glimmering and radiating brightening up the mood of everyone, and maybe a even a rainbow forms, before it fades away. Summer almost seems to be over i guess, 3 weeks already gone, two weeks left, then I'm off to the peak district for a hiking holiday. Parents do come up with such exciting things don't they. But I feel that i might use the surrounding country side to take some photo's of the wildlife you find there, it might help to alleviate the boredom i suffer.